A self-help author convicted of negligent homicide in the deaths of three people following a 2009 sweat lodge ceremony in Sedona has spoken out for the first time since being released from prison. James Arthur Ray appeared with Piers Morgan on CNN on Monday night to say he is very sorry and remorseful about what happened.

“I think the most difficult thing I could ever imagine is investing your entire life in helping people and then finding them getting hurt,” Ray said. “It’s just the antithesis of everything that I had ever stood for or wanted.”

Ray said the anguish of that night continues every day. Dozens of people took part in the sweat lodge ceremony in October of 2009. Three lost their lives.

Ray served 20 months in an Arizona prison. He was also required to spend time on community supervision. That ended Oct. 12.