Comedian Ilana Glazer on how being a stoner has helped her be a better parent
Download mp3 (13.87 MB)Comedian Ilana Glazer is perhaps best known as the co-creator and co-star of “Broad City,” a Comedy Central sitcom which ran for five seasons.
Glazer’s character on “Broad City” was an exaggerated version of herself: a free-wheeling, free-spirited stoner trying to balance the dueling responsibilities of adulthood, friendship, and love.
“Broad City” was ranked one of the top shows of the decade by Vanity Fair and Rolling Stone.
In the years since the series wrapped, Glazer has continued to explore similar themes in her stand-up work, with a notable addition: motherhood. She’ll present her latest hour of comedy Tuesday night at the Orpheum Theatre in Phoenix.
Full interview
GLAZER: I feel like I've heard this story through comedy from mother figures — and mostly father figures — about how annoying and hard and sacrificial it is to be a parent. But I have found my personal experience to be so different from that, so joyous. That's what is the surprise to me. Like, it doesn't feel sacrificial to me. It feels like I'm gaining and growing, and I've just been having such a fun time so far. And that's really what, is at the root of my latest hour of stand up.
DINGMAN: We, you know, that makes me think, it's interesting that you cited comedians as figures in your life who have created this perhaps misguided perception that you came into your motherhood with, of motherhood being this certain type of experience. Because I, I feel like comedy has done so much over the years to formulate our association with motherhood as like a tough thing and, and that it turns moms and women into these like heavy dower figures.
GLAZER: Yeah. And I, I like that rage. I like seeing women's rage represented. Because like, we're so policed about our, our rage in reality and on a day-to-day basis. And, you know, even as simple as Marge Simpsons' "Mmm." I love that little sound. I mean, you know, it's like, I just remember from my childhood and see hearing it in my mom and hearing my little, you know, little sounds or whatever. But like there's been such a shift and I think in my generation of moms too, like, you know, there's not this like illusion of having it all. Everybody's like, "Lol it's very messy. I'm doing my best and I'm trying to love myself like ... I feel so grateful to be coming into parenthood at this time.
DINGMAN: Tell us a little, a little bit about what we can expect to see in the show. I know at least part of it has to do with being a mom and a stoner? Question mark?
GLAZER: Yeah, you better believe. I used to be like, you know, get high in moments where I was like, "Shoot shouldn't have gotten high." You know, and it's like, I, I think before I act now much more and especially with, with a kiddo, it's like you don't want to be like, "Damn, shouldn't have gotten high" when you're moming. So, but, but I'm so blazing.
DINGMAN: So are there any ways that you feel like being a stoner helps you be a parent?
GLAZER: Yes, girl, that's — you read my mind. That's my final bit is my last 10 minutes is about, you know, being a better parent because I'm a stoner. You know, it like it gets me right on baby level. You know, it's a quick little portal to baby level. I get high, I speak baby. I don't have to fake an ounce of enthusiasm while watching "Sesame Street." I'm like, this is hilarious. Is anybody else seeing this?
Being a stoner has helped me manage panic attacks, because out of the 18 years I've been dancing with Mary Jane, I have, I have never once gotten high and immediately chilled. I have exclusively gotten high, had a panic attack and then earned my chill. So, you know, as a parent, you're having a panic attack every day. So I really have worked out the kinks of my panic attacks. My, my moments of anxiety, weed has helped me see through to the other side
DINGMAN: If I'm hearing you right, it, it seems like the relationship with the panic attacks and the weed prior to becoming a parent, those two things maybe felt a little bit more intertwined. Whereas now the fact that there are, there is a daily panic brought on by the parenthood, allows Mary Jane to be a little bit of a different dance partner, perhaps
GLAZER: Totally. And like, I'm also, I think just more thoughtful and choiceful. You know, even taking lead out of it, anxiety. I would just have so much anxiety about day to day, about work about, you know, my, the perception of me. And it's like, you know, the anxiety — like anxiety just changes things that seemed important before suddenly seem just like thinner, as like weighing on me lighter. Tou know, the stakes for the kid are like life and death. You're like, please don't die, please don't die. You know?
DINGMAN: So much of anxiety, I feel like, is about elevating things that aren't matters of life and death to matters of life and death.
GLAZER: Right. Right. Right. It's like anxiety versus fear. So I think like having a child in this world gives you some real fear to chew on, while anxiety becomes so secondary to the things we actually have to worry about affecting our children. As someone who's like endured a like real, chronic anxiety my whole life, I've been so pleased to find myself, forced to be present moment to moment. You know, like parenthood is so physical. You're on your knees, you're, you're back on your feet. You're running over here. Oh, a thing was thrown. It's just so physical. It is so present for like, these little movements. And I was amazed to find how, like, small my world became. But then also it expanded, like my whole world was like right here in my fingertips. It was suddenly suddenly big too because I'm like, kind of holding it all. And I think also my emotions fill up that whole world. So like it's emotionally intense, but it's just not like nonsense. It's just not worries about feelings, about such and such. It's like, no, I'm just feeling the feelings they're raging and then they're passing, you know?
Yeah, I love that idea of it, it making you feel more present. Because again, I feel like anxiety is often about imagining a future and trying to simultaneously believe that you know what that future is — like, you have that level of control. But also you somehow can't control the negative ways that that hypothetical future might go. It's very paralyzing, and what you're describing is so much more of a immediate reactive, engaged type of headspace.
GLAZER: Which I'll bring it right back, I prepared for very consistently by smoking so much weed.
(LAUGHS)
DINGMAN: Right. Right. Right.
GLAZER: For real, you know. Tt's like funny or whatever, and it's my stand-up material. But I'm like, I can't help but be, I can't fake it. You know what I mean?
DINGMAN: Yeah.
GLAZER: I can't help but be me.
DINGMAN: So that makes me think of something else. I heard you say recently that I was really, really struck by and I wondered if you could unpack it a little bit, which is, you said "comedy is my spirituality. I literally connect it with my Jewish faith.
GLAZER: Sam Dingman, baby. He's going for it. I love it. And you know what I love to do, unpack, you know what I appreciate from a man when they want to unpack, I appreciate it. Also, I'm assuming your identity is man, and I don't even mean to assume.
DINGMAN: No, no worries, no worries. You you got it right? All good.
GLAZER: OK, cool. Cool. So I appreciate this. Yeah, like it's a type of faith believing that people can break their barriers down and laugh together. That's a like that's a spiritual thing, laughing together is a spiritual thing. Seeking my truth and infusing that into the way I connect with myself and then connect with the world. That's how I feel about comedy. That's what comedy feels like in my body and my heart. And the fundamental Jewish value of questioning is a very basic tenet of comedy, which to me, lends itself the next step after that is finding the absurdity. You know, it's like the way I feel about it is like this, like, Talmudic interpretations of everything you can have that kind of comedic quest anywhere in this world. And it helps me sort things out.
DINGMAN: Yeah. I love that idea of absurdity being on the other side of inquiry. Because, I mean, if I'm hearing you, right, that's, that's the space you're playing in, in this hour, is you're like, what if a mom was also a stoner? Turns out, that might be an amazing idea.
(LAUGHS)
GLAZER: Exactly. Exactly. And I'm like, it's been working out so far.
(LAUGHS)
DINGMAN: All right. Well, Ilana Glazer. Thank you so much.
GLAZER: What a pleasure and a, a real true conversation. Thank you, Sam Dingman.
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